HOW I'M GETTING THROUGH GRIEF

There are some things you don't prepare for; but when it happens, you have no choice than to find your way through it and out of it.

Such things are death, loss and grief.

Let's make it anguish and grief, not just grief. 

My sister and friend Busayo Opaleye was one in a million. I met her during my undergrad days. She was a fierce lover, she had a voice that stood out and she stood her ground on anything she believed in. She was one person who said her mind no matter what.

She lived with my mom and siblings. She was my sister's bestlady and my brother's padi in a way.

We lived together in the same room for more than 3 years. She stayed with me, loved 😍 and helped me and we fought too.

As God would have it, my wedding was October 15 while hers was October 22, 2022.

She died on December 17, 2022.

HOW DID I FEEL

1. I went numb when I got the news. I refused to accept it. I had a feeling it would pass and it was a prank.

2. I finally broke down the burial. That was my beginning of acceptance.

3. I felt it could have been me. It took away the i'm-serving-God-&-I'm-untouchable-by-the-enemy mindset. Just like time and chance, death happens to all whether you're young, or old. You didn't make time so you don't get to say it's not my time. 

HOW AM I GETTING THROUGH IT

1. I had to accept my reality. When I avoid this (which is easier), I extend the grieving process. She's gone. It's hard to deal with it but she is.

2. Moving forward will require looking back. This means I get to look at what went wrong, what was right and all in order to progress. It doesn't mean I dwell in regret but that's what sages do.

3. I'm looking at the things I've learned from her that has made my life better. Just like everyone of us living, she had her faults but she also had her good sides too.

4. I have people around me. We grieve together and heal together. Someone can say or do something that helps my perspective. Someone brings a word from God that helps us all and we adjust and progress

That's all I can say for now.

P.S: pain, angish and grief are part of life. I'm not a pro at handling this and I wouldn't write out what I read online. I'm still in the process and I'll continue to write this as I grow🪴

May the lord heal us beyond scabs.

Photo credit: psycom.net