Where's my pain?

I woke up this wonderful morning and like the 21st century youth, I turned on my phone and went straight to my BBM feeds. 

As I was scrolling through, I noticed that a former colleague had these cute, lovely twin babies that made you want to have twins immediately 
 ...untill you remember the price of diapers, baby food, attention, love and also the responsibility that comes with each life that we are entrusted with.

When she told me why they are special, I decided to share it as per presenter things that some people like to call ofofo or gbeborun things. 

Mrs Adeshina is a Pastor’s wife; this write-up might seem religious but I’m bringing it out to you so you can be encouraged and hold on firmly to what you believe. 

There’s a whole lot of sadness and depression in the world right now and trust me it will get worse. 

Although our parents complained when they were younger, you can’t compare the life in the 1990’s to this present day. Let’s just keep encouraging one another. That’s what this is all about.

I’ll give this to you undiluted so you can sip it in like hot sweet seasoned noodles or pasta that’s garnished with nice vegetables and that fingers your belly. Enjoy it.

I’m Bolanle and she’s Mrs A.

Bolanle: Please can you introduce yourself?

Mrs A: I’m Mrs Omolara Adeshina, a civil servant; I’m married to a Pastor who’s also a business man. We’re living in Abuja, we stayed at Ilorin when we were Pastors in the headquarters of our Church for a while although I’m in Ilorin for now.

Bolanle: For how long have you been married and how has it been?

Mrs A: I got married June 27 2003 which is almost 12 years and my marriage has been peaceful. The Lord has been good to us.

Bolanle: My friend’s display picture on blackberry showed a set of cute and lovable twins, they looked so nice that I had to ask her ‘’are you believing God for twins after your son?’’ She said they are my Pastor’s babies, after many years of believing and praying for the fruit of the womb. How long did you have to wait for the lovely twins to come?

Mrs A: 11 years and 5 months. I was delivered of the babies on the 28th of November 2014.

Bolanle: How did you manage for 11 years plus? How did you handle the pressure?

Mrs A: Hmm, (deep sigh) the pressure was much. Initially when I got married, I waited for the first year but later, I found out there where issues so I prayed and fasted and I believed God can do anything at that point. I was really hoping it won’t be long. 

The first three years were really tough because my in-laws are traditional. Most of them had their own children before they got married but in my case, I did my traditional and Church wedding and everyone was quite expectant.

Bolanle: What were the issues?

Mrs A: Every newlywed couple expect conception especially when  you have sex frequently but when it didn’t happen, we went to the hospital and we were given different medical reports that showed that the hindrance was from both my husband and I but I refused to believe all the reports because I believed in my God. 

The issues were ranging from delay in my monthly period, too many eggs in my ovaries, and issues with my husband as well.

Bolanle: Hmm, ok, please go on.

Mrs A:  They kept looking at me and asking questions, they even offered to take me to different places that I knew I couldn’t go because they were contrary to my belief. But I thank God for His grace and mercy that saw me through and also for my husband that stood with me through it all. 

We stood together and agreed not to visit various places but we decided to stay with God in our own church and be faithful to Him but we were open to all the medical options available and followed the Doctor’s advice.

Mrs A:  After waiting for so long, we were glad that God answered our prayers, you know it’s not easy to go through all but when the Lord has done it, you tend to forget all the pain. 

I entered into my room one day and I began to cry. I was rolling on the floor while my tears flowed night and day as I searched for answers and now I have my children. 

This has made me to trust the Lord in a new way; it was not an easy task.

Bolanle: When we all go through issues, there are times we are pushed to the wall or better still pushed to your knees. Can you take us through some of them?

Mrs A: Hmm, let me try to remember three. Just as I fore- mentioned, I’m a Pastor’s wife and because of this, I do the Child dedication in Church. 

It was the headquarters and in a week we can have about 3 naming ceremonies and people kept saying “look at this couple that don’t have children, why is that it’s their members God is blessing with children?” 

Sometimes, as I do this, my monthly period is there and I just sat down and cried but I used it as a point of contact to pray for myself.

Bolanle: That’s the first, what’s the second?

Mrs A: I had to live with my in-laws, my Husband loves his family and so do I but at that time, it was a very sensitive period for me and we all lived together with their own children as well. 

There were times I told some of the kids to run errands for me or even correct them but their parents would instruct them to do something else at that instance. 

I just went straight into my room and cried. I used to wonder, what have I done, what happened, I was thinking they felt I didn’t have so that’s why I didn’t know how to talk to children or handle them, you know a lot of things happened (chuckles softly)I hope you get me.

Mrs A: That’s two now right?

Bolanle: Yes.

Mrs A: There was a time I went for a naming ceremony of one of my in-laws in Lagos. We had to stay with them but we had to leave because we had to go to the hospital for our check-up. 

Somehow, they found out what we came to do and when we left they gathered together and started talking about how we went to the hospital, what we were going to do there. 

While they were discussing, strangers heard and they took it to Church then the story went around and people were saying different things and I was really hurt. 

It was a sad moment in my life. Too many things happened most of which I can’t remember but I give glory to God. He gave me courage and strength to go through it all and come out victorious.

Bolanle: When did you find out you were pregnant and what was your reaction?

Mrs A: I found out I was pregnant about a month after I conceive. You know as a woman who’s expecting to be expectant you’ll be checking every month. 

I was so happy but very fearful. This was because I conceived about 6 months before but it resulted in a miscarriage. 

I wasn’t jumping up or excited but I was just expecting God to show His power because I couldn’t take another miscarriage. The excitement you expect at that level was tampered with the fear of the previous but I was prayerful as well.

Bolanle: So how was the whole pregnancy period? Was it easy or difficult?

Mrs A:  It wasn’t so easy first of all because of the fear and then it sapped all my strength coupled with the nausea and I couldn’t eat. 

The last trimester was the most difficult, I couldn’t even taste pepper. 

The delivery was also smooth, it was caesarean section, I wasn’t scared and it was pain free, the kids were doing well although they were pre-term because they were twins.

Bolanle: What are their names?

Mrs A: Divine and Tiffany. Divine means God’s power, its only God that could do it for us. Tiffany means the manifestation of God. Both means it’s the power of God that brought them forth.

Bolanle: So how has it been, you’ve been a mother for some months, how has it been?

Mrs A: It has been a dream ah! it has been a dream come through (with a joyous voice). At times I can’t even believe it. 

When I wake up I look at them and wonder are they really mine? Is it true? You mean it is over? When people call me by the names of my children, I always wonder if it’s me they are really calling? 

I looked for my pain but I can’t find it.  The pain had been a part of me and I learnt to cope with it for so many years I smile with it, eat with it, sleep with it but I’ve searched for it but I can’t find it anymore. 

I’m just praising God, it’s so unreal I’m looking at them as we’re talking and all I can do is to praise God, it’s a miracle.

Bolanle: What role did your husband play during this period, was he supportive, did you have to fight?

Mrs A: He’s a wonderful man. He’s a man of faith; he doesn’t worry and believes God will do it. He will tell me take it easy, the Lord will do it but as a woman I feel most of the pressure and I’m always going through one fast or the other – white fast, yellow fast, dry fast (laughing). 

This was what I used to do when the pressure was too much or I would be praying or go to the hospital, take drugs or herbal drinks.

Bolanle: Could you say something to those who believe God for their own children

Mrs A: Just stand with God and He will definitely do it because that’s where you have a surety. Stand in the place where he has placed you. 

He will meet you at the point of your need; make sure your heart is opened to him. You will find joy and peace. 

There’s time for everything, some people will have now and some will have later just make sure you are where he placed you because that’s where he will meet you when your time comes. 

As a woman, God has a soft spot for us, He feels our pain. It was my connection to Him that was my anchor when it was difficult.

Bolanle: It’s been delightful talking with you, I feel encouraged thank you so much.

Mrs A: Thank you too.