NO INDEPENDENCE – IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE

Today the 1^st of October is our Independence Day in Nigeria. Happy Independence Day to all

Nigerians everywhere in the world. 

Well, I’ll be talking about how there is really no independence because you are married.

 A few years ago, some of my friends went for an introduction. In Nigeria especially in the West, the family of the groom-to-be usually visits the family of the bride-to-be so they can get acquainted formally.

This is known as introduction. This particular one was ermmm amazing; that’s the word amazing!

You ask why? The father of the lady didn’t cry; he wept like a newly born infant!

I was told she was (she’s late now) his first child, only daughter and of course the closest child to him. He felt his daughter would block him out of her life since she was married.

The truth is that a ‘normal’ parent loves his/her children. Most times they put in all they have to see the child have the best they can afford. 

Sometimes when they get their salaries, they won’t even have a dime to spend on themselves.

I know a man who sold his house to give his daughter a glamorous wedding. Our family friend had to take some menial jobs to provide for his family.

I was at the car park at Oshodi earlier in January; it was the first Sunday of the year and people were returning to their destination since the holiday was over but the people at the park were more than the buses available so it was a struggle.

This woman and her daughter arrived at the park with heavy luggage and it was obvious they were tired. The mother told her daughter to sit with the luggage while she began to run after buses to find out which one was going to her daughter’s school.

She ran after each bus, caught up with it and threw in her bag before asking in Yoruba “se U.I. lo n lo ni?”  “is the bus going to U.I." Hmm!

I also have my own share. When my siblings and I were younger, my mum had to save money so she’ll have something for us to buy our provisions and school fees when we were returning to school. 

She didn’t have too much and we had to take pap for a while every morning.

Of course I could be a loud mouth (lol); I complained, she started crying and I felt hurt. 

She bought yam and eggs for us but I didn’t like the tears so I felt worse eating it. Moreover, she would have felt more pain if we didn’t eat it.

I noticed she left for work early that day. I made up my mind not to complain again.

Years later, she told me she had to walk all the way to work and my knees wobbled because I know it wasn’t a short distance. 
 

Just imagine things parents go through!

It’s easy to be a man or to father a child but its excruciating or even a torture to be a responsible parent. It’s the height of selflessness if you live up to it. 

The interesting thing is that sometimes your child doesn’t know half of what you go through.

This is a basis for children to not abandon their parents in their old age. 

What’s the essence of not taking care of your parents, they borrow or beg from people on the street to eat daily, their house is leaking, there’s no physical protection, they are sick and can’t go to the hospital, they are lonely, but when they die, you can raise the money to kill a cow! Haba!

It doesn’t make any sense!

Once in a while pamper them, you don’t have to take them to the moon to give them honey; whatever you have use it to appreciate them and let their heart bless you. 

Spend time with them, let them also spend time with their grandkids.

Whatever you can’t buy for them because you are not making too much money, you will also not buy for them when you have in abundance. It’s the same principle!

Whatever you do to them, your own kids will do to you as well, you treat them well, and you’ll also receive that treatment from your kids and vice versa. The truth is they won’t be with us forever.

Sometimes we make decisions because we don’t think about the future and sometimes we never appreciate what we have till time makes us appreciate what we had which is wrong.

photo credits:  blackyouthproject.com, motifake.com