EMPIRE-UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

I’ve been really bored for a while so I decided to do one of the things I like doing at such a time – watch my best movies again. This time I chose to revisit Empire.

It’s about a family business which is music.

My eureka for this writing came from a scene with the mother and her last son: Cookie and Hakeem.

Let me give you a sneak peek into it.

Growing up without a mother’s love affected him. This made him dislike, disrespect and criticize her.

The last son actually told his ex that his mother wouldn’t help her music and it actually hurt his mum. 

He asked her to forgive him and she said her love for him is unconditional.

This leads me to the crux of the matter.

The mother could love unconditionally even though they abandoned her in jail for 17years (except one of them). Meanwhile, the father said he would take down anyone who stands in the way his company and him.

Most mothers would do anything for their children no matter what the child has done. 

A father gives a child the instruction, tells the child the way to go, what to say and all the rest. If a child doesn’t heed to his or her father’s warning after a while, the father leaves him or her to find get back on track. 

In some cases, the father completely shuts down after making up his mind or even disowns that child.

A mother would tells a child what he or she did wrong, assist the child in every possible way, defend that child with her last breath. 

In some cases, she'll emphasizes what the father has said.

 Even when the father shuts down or completely ignores his child on a particular subject, the mother continues to find a way to help even when its obvious that the child was the cause of his own troubles. 

I remember my friend Muyiwa told me that he was defiant when he was in school. His parents kept telling him to face his studies and pass his exams so he could get into the university.  

When the results were out, he failed. His father angrily said a lot cow dung to him  (trust an African dad) and concluded that Muyiwa's education was out of his hands since he warned him earlier.

On the other hand, his mother scolded him but enrolled him for lessons and paid for his exams again. She kept encouraging him and that touched him. He was wise enough to pass.

This isn’t an indictment against fathers. I just wonder why mothers will go to that extent. 

But I think the reason is staring at us right in the face; think about what they go through from conception to pregnancy and its unsung stress, some women literally are in the hospital throughout this period.

The main force is the delivery day; she has to go through hours of labour and she’s staring at death to bring life to the world. I think this is the stone in the river that causes the ripple. 

This is why a mother would do anything for her child. 

This is not to say men can’t do anything for their children. 

I know some men who would cross seven mountains and seas to change the lives of their children. 

I’m simply looking at one delicate feature.

Mind you I also know terrible mothers; have you heard of a woman who looked away while her child had to writhe in pain from Fibroid and she did nothing about it for 3 years?

Na Wa Abi! (just imagine)

Let’s take this discussion a step further. 

All that I spoke about in the aforementioned paragraphs is about parents. Let’s look at marriage. The rate of separation, divorce and silent marriages is rather alarming. 

Silent marriages are dominant these days.( I coined the term so don’t check your dictionary) 

Silent marriage is where both partners (the married man and wife) are still living together but they don’t speak to each other except they have guests or they go out to social events  together.

I witnessed a silent marriage once and I was surprised. 

My friend Tunmise just ended her youth service. I went to say hi to her but noticed her mum sent me or my friend to her husband to find out what he wanted to eat. 

On the day I left their house with Tunmise, her mum switched on the pumping machine because PHCN just restored the light after a week. She forgot to turn it off when she was leaving for work that morning. My friend, her dad and I got into his car and went to his office.  

Twenty minutes after we left the house, Tunmise received a call from her mum telling her to inform her dad to go home and switch off the pumping machine since her work place was farther than his. 

Why couldn’t she call him herself?

It’s a silent marriage. This happened over 5 years ago and guess what they are still together living together silently.

If parents can love their children and do anything for them, 

If fathers can be fathers for their children and mothers can love their children conditionally, why can’t husbands and wives live together and love the same way? 

If facing death can bring such unconditional love between a mother and child, wouldn’t it be worth it if couples can face this kind of death for a lasting relationship?

Is it possible to get this kind of death? 

Yes it is.

Selah!!!